Someone once told me, “I don’t like short sleeve t-shirts.” So, like any true innovator driven by retail nostalgia and the faint smell of food court pretzels, I invented the long sleeve t-shirt.
Now, I know what you’re thinking:
“Did long sleeves even exist in the ‘80s and ‘90s?”
To which I say: probably? I was a kid. The only sleeves I remember were coated in Slurpee stains and vague memories of Caldor’s fluorescent lighting. No photo evidence. But here’s the deal:
Capitalism demands I sell you something. You don’t have to want it. But I need you to want it. And I’m going to personally heat press the legendary CALDOR logo onto a fresh Ultra Cotton long sleeve tee—so if that doesn’t stir something deep inside you, maybe a mall Santa can explain it better.
Specs:
- 6 oz., 100% USA-grown cotton (I’m told sustainably and fairly)
- Ribbed cuffs so your sleeves don’t flop like you’re casting spells
- Tear-away label (itchy necks are the enemy)
- Double-needle stitching to outlast your ex’s hoodie
Size Chart (in inches):
Just measure a shirt you already like across the chest (pit-to-pit) and down the back for length—and pick the one that fits your vibe.
- Small: 18″ across the chest, 28″ long
- Medium: 20″ chest, 29″ long
- Large: 22″ chest, 30″ long
- XL: 24″ chest, 31″ long
- 2XL: 26″ chest, 32″ long
- 3XL: 28″ chest, 33″ long
- 4XL: 30″ chest, 34″ long
Buy it. Wear it. Pretend you were the cool kid at Caldor in ’92.
Or just keep your arms warm while pretending you remember what Caldor was.
